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toomuchplor: (irodney lying)
[livejournal.com profile] linabean once mentioned her conviction that Ronon really deserves his own cooking show, which immediately struck me as a Great Universal Immutable Truth.

This, of course, led to me speculating with [livejournal.com profile] sparktastic that few things in life could be as great as attending a dinner party thrown by Ronon:

[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Actually, just Ronon throwing a dinner party.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Is the best image ever.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: I can totally see him getting this worrying obsession with Martha Stewart.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: But his hands are SO BIG
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor : all the crafts come out all mangled.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And everyone is too scared to comment
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And every time he leaves the room they all lean across the dining table and whisper, "Is *your* napkin ring leaking glue all over?"
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: "No, but I think mine has a piece of deer carcass in it!"
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: "That's nothing! My wine charm is ALIVE."

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: ahahahahaha
[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: you have to stoppppppp

[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And Ronon bustles back in with a chafing dish, wearing these big oven mitts, saying, "Okay, who wants some cherries jubilee?" and busts out a flamethrower and sets his pinecone-and-antlers centerpiece on fire.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: hahahahahahahahahaha

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: DUDE
[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: *dies*


[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And then he's all, "Oh no. It was so perfect up until now."
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: "Martha would be so disappointed."
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And John would heave this long-suffering sigh.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And get up from the table
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And step into the kitchen
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And everyone's all, "Where's he going?'
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor : And in five minutes he emerges carrying a frosted four-layer cake complete with real orchids and piped filigree
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And slams it down on the charred table.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And they stare.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And he says, "What? So I like to bake sometimes."

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: ahahahahahah

[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And Rodney goes all glowy and sex-crazed and hauls John back into the kitchen to ravish him with the icing bowl and cake beaters.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Everyone else talks loudly and eats cake and pretends not to hear the ecstatic cries of "YOU ARE THE PERFECT MAN!"
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: "IF ONLY YOU HAD AN ASS."
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Followed by, "Hey! I have an ass!"

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: hahahahahahahah

[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Followed by, "Right, so why does it feel like I've got two mandarin oranges in my hands instead of, oh, I don't know, AN ASS?"
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And John comes back into the dining room all smeared with icing and looking grumpy
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: haha

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: dude
[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: I have no idea what you've been smoking
[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: but I want some

Of course, another Great Universal Immutable Truth, in my mind, is that Rodney has a sex advice column that he writes under a pseudonym on the unofficial Atlantis weekly newsletter. Because who wouldn't want sex advice from Rodney McKay? I mean, REALLY.

In fact, it would be great if people commented with the sort of sex advice requests the lonely and strange citizens of Atlantis would bring forward. Because then I could write Rodney's answers and it could be Way Too Much Fun. *bg*

Comments

[identity profile] margueritem.livejournal.com wrote:
Sep. 28th, 2007 05:52 am (UTC)
Dear Dr. Love,

I've suddenly become a woman (Ancient Device #987435). What would be the best way to masturbate?

Signed,
Multiple Orgasms Here I Come!

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