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toomuchplor: (irodney lying)
[livejournal.com profile] linabean once mentioned her conviction that Ronon really deserves his own cooking show, which immediately struck me as a Great Universal Immutable Truth.

This, of course, led to me speculating with [livejournal.com profile] sparktastic that few things in life could be as great as attending a dinner party thrown by Ronon:

[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Actually, just Ronon throwing a dinner party.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Is the best image ever.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: I can totally see him getting this worrying obsession with Martha Stewart.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: But his hands are SO BIG
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor : all the crafts come out all mangled.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And everyone is too scared to comment
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And every time he leaves the room they all lean across the dining table and whisper, "Is *your* napkin ring leaking glue all over?"
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: "No, but I think mine has a piece of deer carcass in it!"
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: "That's nothing! My wine charm is ALIVE."

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: ahahahahaha
[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: you have to stoppppppp

[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And Ronon bustles back in with a chafing dish, wearing these big oven mitts, saying, "Okay, who wants some cherries jubilee?" and busts out a flamethrower and sets his pinecone-and-antlers centerpiece on fire.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: hahahahahahahahahaha

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: DUDE
[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: *dies*


[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And then he's all, "Oh no. It was so perfect up until now."
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: "Martha would be so disappointed."
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And John would heave this long-suffering sigh.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And get up from the table
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And step into the kitchen
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And everyone's all, "Where's he going?'
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor : And in five minutes he emerges carrying a frosted four-layer cake complete with real orchids and piped filigree
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And slams it down on the charred table.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And they stare.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And he says, "What? So I like to bake sometimes."

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: ahahahahahah

[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And Rodney goes all glowy and sex-crazed and hauls John back into the kitchen to ravish him with the icing bowl and cake beaters.
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Everyone else talks loudly and eats cake and pretends not to hear the ecstatic cries of "YOU ARE THE PERFECT MAN!"
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: "IF ONLY YOU HAD AN ASS."
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Followed by, "Hey! I have an ass!"

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: hahahahahahahah

[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: Followed by, "Right, so why does it feel like I've got two mandarin oranges in my hands instead of, oh, I don't know, AN ASS?"
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: And John comes back into the dining room all smeared with icing and looking grumpy
[livejournal.com profile] toomuchplor: haha

[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: dude
[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: I have no idea what you've been smoking
[livejournal.com profile] sparktastic: but I want some

Of course, another Great Universal Immutable Truth, in my mind, is that Rodney has a sex advice column that he writes under a pseudonym on the unofficial Atlantis weekly newsletter. Because who wouldn't want sex advice from Rodney McKay? I mean, REALLY.

In fact, it would be great if people commented with the sort of sex advice requests the lonely and strange citizens of Atlantis would bring forward. Because then I could write Rodney's answers and it could be Way Too Much Fun. *bg*

Comments

[identity profile] emrinalexander.livejournal.com wrote:
Sep. 28th, 2007 05:45 am (UTC)
Dear Dr. Love,

OK, so I didn't see it coming - ha! no pun intended - and it wasn't alien sex pollen this time. Basically, there was some glowy stuff going on with this semi-ascended chic my team and I ran into - ha! another unintended pun - anyway, met on this recent mission.

ANYWAY, technically it wasn't cheating because this guy on my team that I really like (the guy I mean) hasn't looked me in the eye since the whole incident on the planet where people look like pizzas and anyway we haven't even talked about dating or anything, but now that the glowy stuff happened, he won't even talk to me, and I think he may have turned the shower in my quarters against me.

How do I apologize/make things right/get him to freaking forget about the stupid glowy stuff so that at some point I can actually ask him out at which point he might actually have SOME BASIS for getting his knickers in a twist over the whole semi-ascended glowy chick thing? Also, I'd like to be able to get in the shower without fearing it is going to remove various body parts.

Signed,
Never Sees It Coming

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