Who then mercilessly tossed him aside. Woe!

He stole his mother's clip-on fake diamond earrings as he was horrified by the sanitary practices in the mall, but the scars are still there! Emotional type scars that you can only see in the dark from his WOUNDS from GLAMOR.

And Rodney sheds one perfect crystal tear (which he learned to do accidentally poking himself in the eye with a mascara wand). Ronon is so moved (or, you know, annoyed) by Rodney's perfect tear that he volunteers for the satin and the sparkles, but Rodney won't let him do it, because Ronon has already lost so much! So when they bring out the glitter eye-shadow and the fake eyelashes, Rodney grits his teeth and sucks it up.

And then there he was, the chieftain's son, tall and built and beckoning Rodney to the proverbial alley behind the bar. And Rodney was so caught up that all he remembered was how empowering it felt to have some hot guy want him so bad he couldn't wait to get him home that Rodney went. Or, well, he tried to, but then John TOTALLY OVERREACTED, WHAT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO GET LAID ON MISSIONS NOW, KIRK, and pointed his P-90 at the chieftain's son and then there was running and shouting and then Rodney was falling through the gate. In his shiny satin unitard and feathered hair in all his glory in front of twenty Marines.