Word count: 24,056.

End in sight: Not only in sight, but in hindsight! Fic is DONE!

Hot porn achieved: More so than yesterday, I think.

Number of times John or Rodney's ass is referred to: 1 billion + 4.

Another teaser excerpt?: It's now in beta and it may be another little while before I can post the thing in its entirety, so here is another wee snippet. I swear -- eventually this story goes McSheppy. Just not quite yet.

They went offworld the next day, but Rodney managed to convince Teyla and Ronon that his back was flaring up a little and this was the reason for his slightly stiff-legged walk and reluctance to sit down.

John was less easily sold on the story. He waited until Teyla and Ronon were safely away doing reconnaissance in a forested area east of the gate, then said, “What did she make you do this time? What, were you hanging in some kind of sling all night?”

“You don’t want to know, trust me,” said Rodney darkly.

“Rodney,” said John, urgent, “you’ve really got to start drawing the line with Keller. She’s going to put you in traction one of these days.”

“Well, unless I can fracture my *ass*,” began Rodney, then stopped, horrified.

John was quiet and inscrutable behind his stupid aviator sunglasses for about a minute. “Are you saying she –” he said slowly, finally.

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” said Rodney. “Suffice it to say, it seemed like a great idea at the time.”

John was quiet again for several minutes as they tramped through the forest side by side. “You used lube?” he said, sounding pained by the utterance.

“Jesus, of *course* we did,” Rodney snapped, “she’s a goddamn doctor, she knows how not to cause permanent damage for christ’s sake, it’s just that I was a tender blushing *ass virgin* until last night and we overdid it a little, okay?”