2003: 9 stories. The Year of Discovering Fandom.
2004: 40 stories. The Year of First Fandom Love.
2005: 17 stories. The Year of First Fandom Disenchantment.
2006: 18 stories. The Year of Second Fandom Love and First Fandom Farewell.
2007: 18 19 stories. The Year of 'Yep, This Is All the Time I Have For This.'

All told: 102 103 stories. Huh.

The List:

1. Tactus (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one where they're music profs and John plays tabla and sitar

2. Straight as a Circle (SGA, John/Rodney, John/Kate, John/OFC) - the one where John wakes up straight

3. Where the Sun Don't Shine (SGA, John/Rodney, Teyla/Ronon) - the one where the team ends up naked and Ronon turns out to be totally okay with that

4. Theory of Allopatry (SGA, John/Rodney) - the other one where John is a scientist and Ronon grinds up bug faces

5. The Arrow That Flies (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one where Jeannie demonstrates appalling tastes in names -- again -- and John is cute with babies

6. Tight Quarters (SGA, John/Rodney - sort of) - that Rodney POV outtake from Straight as a Circle

7. I'm Taking This Loop Off (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one that spoofs the SG-1 ep Window of Opportunity

8. Au Lit (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one that's mostly porn

9. Five Reasons Why John and Rodney Hate Sleeping Together (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one where Rodney farts, John snores, and then there's sex

10. Something in the Water (SGA, John/Rodney, Ronon/Katie, Elizabeth/Radek, Lorne/Teyla, etc.) - the one where there's something in the water and Katie is Ronon's soul mate

11. Pausing to Exhale (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one where Rodney is lazy

12. Unearthed (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one where John got left behind

13. Knicky Knocky Nine Doors (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one where they find a kid and bring him home

14. Don't Wear It Out (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one where John names the kid 'Ingram'

15. Refer to Self (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one where John has to put away his knives and porn

16. Took Care of the Cat Already (SGA, gen-ish) - Ingram's curious is noisier than his remembery, and John shouts

17. Slowly in Silent Syllables (SGA, John/Rodney) - the one where it snows

18. Plan C, or How Rodney McKay Lost His Wife And Gained a Galaxy (SGA, Sheppard/McKay, implicit history of Carter/McKay, implied Carter/Sheppard) - the one where John is not a landscaper and Rodney is not that seductive

19. The Singer and the Song (SGA, Ronon/Elizabeth, mild Ronon/Keller, implied John/Rodney) - the one where Ronon and Elizabeth are together and it's sexy and kind of sad

The rambly thinky part:

My favorite: Something in the Water. It's so wokka-wokka! I think it may be one of the only stories I've written in pure narrative format, with no POV bias apparent. It's slapstick or sit-com or something, and it makes me laugh and laugh.

My best: Straight as a Circle - now confirmed by a McShep Award!



I was actually going to say that this was the first time I'd won an award for fanfic and then I realized that I'd actually won two SV fic awards last year. I just totally forgot. *facepalms* But, regardless -- awards! Yay!

Back to the actual thoughts - SAAC is probably one of the first piece of fiction I've written where it felt 100% right, even as I wrote it. I experienced this weird sense of conviction and calm that I've never felt before, or since. I guess it's the feeling of having something original to say and knowing how to say it. Oddly, I cannot reread SAAC anymore. I keep finding things I'd like to change and redo and generally it just makes me crazy. I'm not sure if this means that I needed a good beta service or that if I'd allowed it to go to beta, it would never have seen the light of LJ.

John looks over at Rodney now, considering the bend of Rodney’s arm, the line between his biceps and his deltoid. It’s interesting, if unsettling, to look at men this way. John’s been so focused on seeing women, trying not to look, he’s hardly had time to consider the other side of the equation. Rodney’s arms, which John always found irresistible, are merely an intellectual phenomenon now. They’re not attractive so much as simply worth looking at, the same way he used to admire Elizabeth’s cheekbones or Teyla’s calves -- from a distance.

Story most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I usually just put the story that got the fewest comments here, which would be one of the Knick-Knock fics for 2007, but frankly, I didn't really expect to get massive feedback on self-indulgent kid!fic. So I guess I have to go with I'm Taking This Loop Off. I don't know why it's necessarily 'under-appreciated' -- but I think the story is funny.

Rodney screeched to a halt in front of John, seized him by the biceps, and said, “Hold still.”

John held still, more out of shock and disorientation than anything else. Rodney leaned in, John wondered if the bomb was inside his own head, and then -- contact: unforgiving, ungracious, wide-mouthed and inelegant and -- and -- was Rodney trying to *dip* John? Oh, god, was Rodney actually trying to *kiss* John, is that what this was?

Long seconds of confused inaction passed before John got his forearms up and broke Rodney’s hold -- not without difficulty because Rodney-on-a-mission was freakishly strong. Pulling his wrist over his mouth to wipe it dry, John stepped back and blinked, abruptly aware of the dead silence in the gate room, the ringing lack of any noise as Teyla, Elizabeth, Chuck, seven marines, and four techs all stared at John and Rodney.

Most fun story: Plan C, or How Rodney McKay Lost His Wife And Gained a Galaxy. I am a total masochist when it comes to undermistletoe, where I decide gleefully in November to do this *yet again*, forgetting that December is probably the dumbest time for a *musician* to take on any kind of additional project. And then I sit and write frantically for one or two days, and the result is a tightly wound little bundle of neurosis that's basically an outtake from my BRAIN and it somehow seems funny in the end. And I'll do it again next year.

"Oh, come *on*," Rodney exclaimed. "What are you, the densest man in the history of the universe? Does the effort you spend on growing all that hair completely impede any and all higher neurological functioning? I'm trying to get you into bed with me in the most blatantly literal way, and yet you still seem confused!"

Sheppard plucked at the waistband of his sweats (which were actually Sam's sweats) and frowned. His cheeks and ears were going pink. "I guess," he said, reluctantly, "I guess I have to admit I did see it coming this time."

Sexiest story: I'm not really very good at writing stories that are just, straight-up, sexy. I tend to throw humour in there with an incredibly heavy hand, and occasionally angst or action to liven things up. So -- most uniformly sexy story, I guess? Would have to be Au Lit. Yay butt-plug!John!

“Ha,” said Rodney, obliging, “I bet Radek’s not having sex right now.”

“Oh my god, never mention Zelenka when you’re fucking me,” said John.

“Right, sorry,” said Rodney, and fucked John a little harder in apology -- John, who was going all closed-eyed and open-mouthed and noisy like he only got when it was asscrack-o’clock in the morning and he was too horny and sleepy to be as stoic and silent as usual.

“God, god,” John said, loudly, and reached back around to grab Rodney’s ass as though he could pull Rodney in further. “Just -- just --” John managed before he dissolved into wordless exclamations, and then he pushed back hard. Rodney held position deep inside, limiting himself to minute and hasty thrusts John liked when he was coming loud and long.

Story with single sexiest moment: Okay, so, weirdly? Even though I can't sit down and reread the story as a whole, I still *do* appreciate the sex scenes in Straight as a Circle. I don't know if this is a weird-ass kink or if there's something more broadly appealing here, but for some reason, straight!John with Rodney is seriously interesting to me -- even more so than the framing bits where John is actually gay and with Rodney.

And then he opens his mouth and goes down on John, and John’s body doesn’t care at all that Rodney’s fingers are square and strong, that his mouth is wide and that the noises he’s making are low-pitched. John’s body is too busy being ecstatically happy and John suddenly empathizes with every straight guy he’s ever blown -- a blowjob is a good thing, no matter who’s giving it.

And it’s Rodney, John thinks brokenly, reaching down to pat at the short soft hair, all his instincts flooded and submerged. It’s Rodney, thank fuck.

Rodney, holding John to his word, takes a long time, pulls John to the brink and backs away over and over again. They’re both sweaty and flushed and desperate by the time John caves, says, “Now -- this time, let me -- god, Rodney,” and he hears the rustle of fabric as Rodney gets his own pants open, tries not to hear the weirdly disconcerting sound of Rodney getting himself off. John distracts himself by pulling one knee up high to his chest, wetting his right index finger fast, and reaching down and around to --

“Oh, god,” says Rodney, pulling off when he realizes what John’s doing. “You still do that, you still like that?”

“It’s still *my* ass,” John says, a little defensively. “Don’t stop, you were doing pretty good there.”

“No, can I --” says Rodney, and pushes John’s hand away, replaces it with his own. “Wow, so you’re going to have to find a woman who’ll peg you, huh?”

That’s it, that’s all it takes -- the thought of a woman curled around John, fucking him slow and teasing, the way Rodney did, does, is doing -- and John comes, hitting Rodney in the chin, arching and sighing.

Hardest story to write: I'm not really good at writing 'hard' stories... if something doesn't actually flow for me, it pretty much grinds to a halt. I suppose if I had to say which story took the longest to *start* flowing -- probably (weirdly) Knicky Knocky Nine Doors.

“Behold,” orated Rodney with a sneer, dialing the gate, “for we bring the harvest from the sowing of the Colonel’s wild oats, the fruit of his errant loins, the tangible proof of our military leader’s virility, the --”

Sheppard smacked the back of Rodney’s head to shut him up before he opened the radio channel. “Atlantis, this is Sheppard. We need a quarantine level two for the gate room and a medical team ready to do a spot-check on an offworld visitor.”

“John, this is Elizabeth. What have we got?”

“We’ve got Exhibit A for Keller’s lecture on the dangers of neglecting proper birth control,” said Rodney before Sheppard could stop him.

Most unintentionally telling story: Tactus. Hello, it's my undergraduate education, in slash format!

“The only time,” Rodney says, watching the melee of tuxes and black gowns backstage, “that I despair of the fate of the human race is when I watch a choir try to line up before a performance.”

Oh, no, wait -- that's my LIFE NOW. *sigh*

Next Year, I Will...

1) Write a long story. Like, longer than 20K words. I will!

2) Write a different pairing, and not in the periphery.

3) Finish one of the approximately four gazillion fic-bits wasting away on my hard drive.

4) Update and revamp my webpage, because -- well. It's just SAD.

5) There is no 5.

ETA: One more fic! Hurray!