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Rating: NC-17
Length: 56 731 words
Summary:
And then the door chimed, and Woolsey came in looking mournful and anxious, and everything got derailed.
Death and life, hope and hopelessness, aren't just for the Pegasus galaxy. Eventually, inevitably, it's going to happen on Earth. John and Rodney, loss and family and what it means to be home.
Warning: Death of a minor canon character in a way integral to the plot; deals with bereavement and loss suffered by a major character. No major characters die in this story, however.
How Not to Fly (on AO3)
How Not to Fly (on my site)
- Mood:
pleased
Comments
How Rodney follows his ridiculously romantic statements with self-congratulatory wonder
How John really isn't the best single dad
How Nora was secretly in love with Rodney!!! (or so I have decided)
How they are both kind of fucked up about Atlantis, but it'll be ok
OAKLEY. Ha, and how Rodney calls it the...what, ass-end suburbs of San Francisco? Seriously guys, move to a walkable urban neighborhood.
How John likes teaching math. (And how Rodney was kinda surprised he knew his stuff!)
How Rodney isn't nice to kids, but he's so awesome and honest that they love him anyways. Man, maybe he and Dave would have hated each other, but maybe not.
Oh my dear, the scene in the hospital, when they said goodbye, and all of the mundane details of life afterwards, I totally cried. I often feel the emotions in stories really deeply, but I so fairly react outwardly (crying, laughing) but this story brought me both.
TEAM. Oh man. How HAPPY they all were to see each other again, how well they fit together, and Woolsey and Lorne too. Telya's quiet sadness at being away from her son (I saw Teyla the leader of her people there, knowing she had to make sacrifices, and choices, even if they didn't make her happy) and how she was one John talked to about caring for PJ and Nora.
OH, and the kids! Oh, I loved them. I loved how they were so different, but were such good siblings. They really did seem like real people, not just plot devices. Ha, and Nora is only very bright. Oh Rodney.
Umm, but back to team for a moment: how Ronon didn't get it, and then did, and how that, having the whole team against him, was what prompted Rodney to lash out. I don't know that I've fully processed Rodney's decision, to leave Atlantis and wanting John to come and John not getting it. I wonder, if Dave hadn't been in the accident, what would have happened there? (Don't get me wrong, I like wondering, I just am not sure.)
"John can suddenly see all the places he was very nearly headed as he walked this path alone" GOD, yes, this. I just. It's somehow so perfectly real, in this really depressing way (John really can't do it on his own.) and it's all so clear in the moments leading to Rodney coming to him.
When John appears to save Rodney, that whole sequence is a perfect episode ending, John in black with his serious face and Rodney running after him, and the two of them working together on the AI. So so SGA, so Atlantis. And I love that John leaves as soon as he possibly can.
(I also love that I had to start this comment near the end, because I knew there was too much to say, and I would start a thought, and then basically see you finish it. Amazing. See below for an example:
I love that Rodney basically stays his asshole self. But somehow in learning how to read John, he learned how to be a little bit better anyways.
"except John’s had some practice at being patient since then, and Rodney’s learned to trust John’s instructions" YES THAT!!!)
I love that this isn't really a happily ever after. John is still going to long for Atlantis, Rodney will get bored without missions (they are all such adreneline junkies now). But within that, it's life. Not perfect, but very real. You make choices, they aren't made for you, and sometimes you're lucky and get to make the choices that bring you happiness.
How Rodney follows his ridiculously romantic statements with self-congratulatory wonder
LOL. My favorite part is that his "ridiculously romantic statements" would probably not soften a lesser heart than John's.
How Nora was secretly in love with Rodney!!! (or so I have decided)
You win the prize on this one! She has SUCH a big crush on him at first! (This totally dissipates on its own once she lives with Rodney for about two weeks and sees how annoying he is.)
Seriously guys, move to a walkable urban neighborhood.
Oh, they will. *g* I know, poor John. He is doing family life like it's paint-by-numbers: house in the 'burbs? Check!
Man, maybe he and Dave would have hated each other, but maybe not.
Dave definitely would have hated the tricks Rodney is teaching his kids. The kids, on the other hand, think Rodney is the bomb. I am picturing chemistry experiments in the garage and extended lessons on how to bully your teacher into raising your grades.
Telya's quiet sadness at being away from her son (I saw Teyla the leader of her people there, knowing she had to make sacrifices, and choices, even if they didn't make her happy) and how she was one John talked to about caring for PJ and Nora.
John knew she'd understand, I think. He's maybe come to respect Teyla's role as parent a lot more as he's watched her with Torren the last year or so.
I don't know that I've fully processed Rodney's decision, to leave Atlantis and wanting John to come and John not getting it. I wonder, if Dave hadn't been in the accident, what would have happened there?
You're free to draw your own conclusions there, but in my mind they probably would have broken up -- at least until Atlantis took off again. I ended up having to cut out a bit of backstory about the John/Rodney relationship here but in my mind they had a very on/off thing going on Atlantis, and had only recently really gotten back together after Jennifer left. John probably thought of them as amazingly close friends who sometimes had sex. Rodney obviously saw it a little differently. But they both wound up in the same place, I guess!
You make choices, they aren't made for you, and sometimes you're lucky and get to make the choices that bring you happiness.
This should be in my blurb somewhere! *g* Love it. And I'm glad you saw this as the point I was making. I've told a few other commenters that I don't see this as the most solid happy ending. It's a hell of a huge deal that John and Rodney have struck at the end of the story, and they are both putting a lot of pressure on their bond to sustain them through grief of several different kinds. The hardcore McSheppers (myself included) probably have faith that they will make it through but I can also imagine a world where it just doesn't work in the long run. Grief pushes people apart more often than it brings them together, after all.
(Don't worry, I have two codas up my sleeve that will hammer the happy ending a little more firmly into place. *g*)
Love all the thoughts you had while reading, and thank you so much for sharing them.
Well, you might want to give me back, given that I have two other fics of yours open in firefox tabs waiting for feedback, and it took me however long to respond to your lovely comments here. (And in fact, I am only finally doing it, because you wrote a 5000 word coda that I must read!)
You win the prize on this one! YESSSS!!! I love winning.
Dave definitely would have hated the tricks Rodney is teaching his kids. True enough! I guess I was thinking in the back of my mind that Dave as a kid or some version of Dave who was able to act like a kid might appreciate Rodney, but like so much of your story, it probably would never have been possible for the two of them to know each other in that way. It's similar to how Atlantis can sometimes seem like this necessary stage that allowed John and Rodney to get to know each other and become friends.
cut out a bit of backstory Yes, I wondered! At one point John thought about the years they'd been together, but Atlantis had been grounded less than a year and there were Jennifer mentions, so interesting! I didn't mind that the backstory wasn't there though, and I liked the hints of it throughout.
This should be in my blurb somewhere! Aww! This totally made me smile.
It's a hell of a huge deal that John and Rodney have struck Yes, that's it exactly! And as much as I (total hardcore McShepper as well) absolutely believe they will make it, and totally can't wait to read the coda all about it, I so love that this part of the story isn't sure. It's just very human, and makes them, oh, I don't know, more admirable, or braver? I mean, they are both dumbasses, in ways that I totally love, so maybe it's not completely eyes wide open, but I love that they're willing to take the leap without themselves knowing how it's going to turn out.
When you put it that way -- Rodney's right, he's devastatingly romantic and stuff. *g*
Well, you might want to give me back
NO! *clutches you tight*
No, I don't! (Truthfully? Never even been there. Bad me!)
Such is the magic of Google, I guess! Well, that and having a friend who recently spent a few months in the area. But I'm very happy to have given that impression. Yay!