I just found this, but it's from, idek, March? More chatting with people leading to half-assed fic. Okay, quarter-assed fic.

me:


iykwim: yesssssssssss
babyyyyy

me: Awwwwwww
THAT COULD BE A FIC

iykwim: HEEE

me: EAMES

iykwim: YES
CUTE

me: WEARING NO SHIRT
AND A BABY BJORN

And Arthur being like
I DON'T EVEN HAVE OVARIES HOW IS THIS APPEALING TO ME

iykwim: HEEEEEee
that's how I feel
except
i THINK i have ovaries
maybe... who knows

me: Hahaha
Arthur also isn't sure, suddenly
It should be gross!
Guy with no shirt on!
with sweaty nylon baby carrier
and baby
STRANGELY AMAZING

"Why do I have to put a shirt on, though? It doesn't make any sense, darling. The BABY doesn't mind! DO YOU, BABY."

And Arthur's all, "It's just GROSS EAMES. It's like those horrible tacky posters with the beefy guy holding the naked baby."

And Eames is all, "You think I'm beefy?" <3<3<3

iykwim: HEEEEEEE

me: *flexes*

iykwim: see how you're already writing this??
just sayin'...

me: I KNOW STOP ME

iykwim: NO!
REFUSAL
MORE CUTENESS PLZ

me: "Where did you even get that?"

Eames looks down at the carrier. "Mothercare? I don't know."

"Not the *carrier*, Eames. THE BABY."

iykwim: hahahahaha

me: Eames shuffles the bottle a little and jogs the baby. "Well, Arthur, when a heterosexual man"--

-"Ha," Arthur interjects -

-"when a heterosexual man who may or may not have bicurious leanings, when this man loves a woman"-

--"ha, again."

--"or when they've had a lot of tequila and are bored with Guitar Hero, well, *then*"

"Are you saying this is YOUR baby."

"What kind of a question is that?" Eames asks, affronted. "And him with my gorgeous blue eyes."

"Your eyes aren't blue."

"They were when I was three months old."

Arthur looks at the baby, sure Eames is having him on.

"That's not your baby."

"It is most certainly my baby. Don't ask how I can be so certain. Let's just say it was sort of a hostage situation gone wrong."

Arthur pretends not to know this about Eames, but Eames has a weird sense of old-fashioned nobility, of chivalry almost. There's no way Eames would have had his way with someone under his power, a hostage he was holding, which means -- "You seduced your captor?" Arthur asks.

iykwim: hahaha
awww.. he totes is old school chivalrous deep down
who's ADORBS???

me: Sometimes Eames' life is like a Harlequin romance novel
Except he never gets married in the end

Really, Arthur reflects, it's a miracle of modern contraception that Eames has never before had an illegitimate child.

iykwim: it's true Arthur, so true

me: Well, it's either modern contraception or the fact that Eames is a lot less heterosexual than he claims.

Probably the latter

iykwim: hahahah
definitely a combination, but a healthy dose of the latter!