Ha. See what I did there? With cats and chats? I BET I AM THE FIRST PERSON TO MAKE THAT JOKE. EVEN MY ICON IS IMPRESSED.

So I am really writing more Steinway but it turns out after a Frappuccino I have some sort of post-sugar/caffeine manic episode and have ridiculous chats with Lately instead. Here is another one:

[Background is that Eames, in my Steinway head!canon, has adopted a cat after the fashion of Tom Hardy. It's actually named Jeoffry, not Kat, but sometimes I forget.]

Me: Arthur is difficult
funny since Eames is the singer
Eames' self-centredness is so delightfully matter-of-fact though
of COURSE he's the most impt one
there is no point stomping around making a scene about it
everyone KNOWS Eames is the best
Arthur is always neurotically worried about disappointing everyone
and at the same time wants them all to think he's brilliant

Lately: his life is so hard

Me: IT IS
Eames' life is so EASY
he just goes around smiling at everyone and being amazing
that's all he does
Arthur is tormented by self-doubt and insomnia and workaholism
and he's STILL not as famous as Eames
it's not FAIR

Lately: but you will get composer immortality arthur!

Me: He is pretty sure you are wrong about that
it is just a fad
no one will remember his music
and he has to go and bash his head into the piano keys now
and why why WHY is Eames' fucking Kat always sleeping INSIDE the piano
It is horrible
there is fur in there

Lately: ahahahah oh ARTHUR.

Me: and Arthur never notices until he goes to play a chord and Kat explodes out of the thing
tail bottle-brushed
like ARTHUR is in the wrong

Lately: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Me: Hahaha
Arthur's epic battle with Kat
He has tried everything
Kat has figured out how to open the studio french doors
the only thing that stops him outright is closing up the whole piano
which doesn't stop him padding all over the lid meowing
like he owns the thing
Plus Arthur always forgets to close the piano

Lately: :D

Me: he lowers the lid but neglects to cover the front part
why would Kat even WANT to sleep in there?
it's METAL
and METAL STRINGS
what is the APPEAL
and if Arthur ever catches Kat anywhere NEAR the felts with his claws or teeth
Dead Kat

Lately: aw, kITTEH.

Me: Mostly Kat likes the far end
the low notes
when he purrs a certain way the strings near him vibrate

Lately: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eames: you should write a duet for me and him

Me: Hahahahahahahaha
Arthur: Concerto for Kat in Potato Sack, Being Dropped into Well

Eames will never never never tell Arthur about how he'd put Kat in the piano
when Kat was Kitten
and played notes up and down
to watch Kitten chase the hammers looking wild-eyed
little needle claws plucking at the strings like a feline harpsichord
Kat imprinted on the Steinway, Eames thinks

Lately: ohhhhhh my god

Me: Even now Kat's catbrain thinks Steinway=good times

Lately: that is the most adorbs image EVS.

In conclusion, this video.