Fic: Hot Box (n.b. use of term "fic" is probably a gross exaggeration here)

[toomuchplor]

Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Length: 346 words
Warning: Contains nine year old boy humour. (So, really, *my* humour. Sad.)
Summary: Half-awake, they’re disarmed and grouchy and they talk like they think PJ can’t hear them. In the How Not to Fly 'verse, set around the time of It Isn't That Amazing.

A/N: As I've been whining to anyone who will listen, I have the zombie plague or something because my normal-ass cold has mutated into a weird spreading itchy-as-fuck-all rash that is making me completely unable to sleep from the itching and the zombie horror. (Yes, I'm going to the doctor. No, not until Tuesday. I know. Canadian health care. It's free?) So I'm loopy enough to post this somewhat awful ficlet I wrote the other day. Unbeta'ed. Written while high and coming down with zombie plague. AND NOT EVEN THAT FUNNY IN SPITE OF THAT. Also, I have to be up in 5.5 hours. Oh, and I have two concerts tomorrow. In which I am conducting. Fuck you zombie plague!

“I thought we were so past this,” Rodney grunts into his pillow as PJ knees his way over Rodney’s lower back and into the warm divot between his uncles.

“Don’t be a dick, Rodney,” says Uncle John.

PJ would never say so, but nowadays this is half the reason he comes into his uncles’ room. Half-awake, they’re disarmed and grouchy and they talk like they think PJ can’t hear them. They have stubbly dark cheeks and sleep creases and they say awesome swear words that are weirdly satisfying to hear.

“He’s almost ten,” says Rodney, not lifting his head or moving anything but his mouth. “For fuck’s sake.”

“Quit bitching and go back to sleep,” Uncle John says. “Jesus.”

PJ wriggles under the covers, feet scraping past two sets of strong hairy legs. He burrows his face into Uncle John’s pillow – Rodney sucks at sharing – and closes his eyes, feeling his chest unknot and his body start to drop into limpness.

Rodney farts as he rolls over.

“Rodney,” Uncle John reproaches him, scandalized.

PJ bites back a grin.

“Oh, like you never fart in bed,” says Rodney. “Since when is our bed a no-farting zone?”

“The kid is here,” says Uncle John. “It’s kind of rude.”

“He’s free to fart too if he wants,” says Rodney, and his hand pokes at PJ. “Feel free to fart, Peej.”

PJ rolls onto his back and beams over at Rodney. “Like I would. That’s so gross,” he says, and farts.

“Oh my god,” says John. “Rodney, why do you encourage him?”

Rodney is smiling back at PJ, crooked and sleepy and conspiratorial. He makes a face of effort, then relaxes as he farts again. PJ giggles, and the giggling makes him fart without even trying.

“You’re both banished,” says Uncle John, aggrieved.

“Let’s hotbox him,” says Rodney, and even though PJ doesn’t know what that even means, he somehow knows exactly what to do, and they dive in unison to pull the covers up over Uncle John’s head and pin them there while he struggles and chokes and shouts.

Comments

[cesare]

I love the idea of Rodney being the crude one, for a change!

[semielliptical]

Hee! PJ must learn a lot about being a man at times like this, when John and Rodney are too tired to filter themselves. A cozy and adorable scene.

[monanotlisa]

*giggle*

[perspi]

OH MY GOD THAT'S FANTASTIC!

Also, poor John. EEP.

[toomuchplor]

I love the idea of Rodney being the crude one, for a change!

*g* I like the idea that John defaults (as we all do, I suppose) to dealing with the kids the way he was raised, especially when he's caught off-guard like this. Rodney, on the other hand, probably feels it's his duty to undermine John's uptight techniques at every turn. Plus, boys. You know. Farts are hilarious, etc. (Not that I believe that. *coughs*)

[toomuchplor]

PJ must learn a lot about being a man at times like this

Hee. Yes, I don't think there was a lot of fart joking going on in his former household. Boarding school's probably another story, though...

Thanks!

[toomuchplor]

*is ashamed* *giggles anyway*

[toomuchplor]

My uncle used to do this to his wife when they were first married. (Amazingly, they are still married, more than forty years later.)

[abbylee]

Why, why? Why did you make me laugh at farting humour?

<3

I do love your "Sleepy John is his father with a sailor vocabulary", while Rodney is just Rodney, and PJ totally PJ. I love them all.

[toomuchplor]

Why did you make me laugh at farting humour?

*ducks* I'm sorry! IT'S NOT FUNNY.

*snickers*

[runpunkrun]

You wrote a fic about farts! I am shocked, shocked I say! *g*

What I really like about this (besides Rodney inviting PJ to fart if he wants, hah!) is that PJ wants to be with his scruffy, swearing uncles because it's comforting. It's sweet.

[anatsuno]

It IS sweet! I loved it. :D

[mific]

Hah! Rodney would so be into farting in bed. He's far too lazy and into his creature comforts to bother being nice about it. John would too at times but he'd try to sneakily lift the covers and waft it away. But Rodney would catch him and give him hell about it!
The rash sounds beastly. Allergy to something you took to deal with the cold? Hope it settles down soon and doesn't cause weird conductor twitches, thus throwing off the conductees.

[springwoof]

so sorry you're not feeling well!

the ficlet is hilarious! anything from this 'verse is delicious, but this little bit was fun. Oh, PJ!

[toomuchplor]

You wrote a fic about farts! I am shocked, shocked I say!

I know, it's incredibly out of character for me. Heh.

(Sidebar: this is why I don't do those "describe me as an author in three words" memes because I fear getting dozens of comments that say "farts, farts, and farts.")

What I really like about this (besides Rodney inviting PJ to fart if he wants, hah!) is that PJ wants to be with his scruffy, swearing uncles because it's comforting.

I was thinking of those great boyhood (and generic childhood, too, but more boyhood) moments that are built on things like bodily function humour and slapstick and violence-as-entertainment and swear words, the kind of moments a grown man might later look back on as golden memories of youth. I love that PJ's memories are going to revolve around John and Rodney swearing and farting and arguing in bed.

[toomuchplor]

Hahaha, thanks! I am glad the sweetness came through.

[toomuchplor]

Hah! Rodney would so be into farting in bed. He's far too lazy and into his creature comforts to bother being nice about it.

Hahaha... It's *his* bed too! He's not going to change a lifetime of habit just for John's prissy rules!

Thanks! Turned out that the rash was an allergic reaction to the cold/flu virus itself, oddly enough. More than 6 weeks later and it's nearly gone -- just dealing with a dozen little marks where I scratched myself into a scab, sigh.

[toomuchplor]

Thanks! Hee.

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

I think I died laughing so hard. That was great.

[like-the-drink.livejournal.com]

LOL too cute!

[sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com]

:)))))))) FARTS \o/\o/\o/

(also, there's a thing going around! A cold that then allows another virus to come in and give you hives - it's happening here too (although not to me *makes warding motions*) although I am far from Canada)

[toomuchplor.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad my sense of humour is shared by some (truly awesome) people. *g*

[toomuchplor.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *g*

[toomuchplor.livejournal.com]

Hee.

Oh, and I hadn't heard that about the virus. I'm so confused about this. I've had hives before but they don't look quite like hives. A nurse friend of mine at least could tell me they weren't bed bug bites (we have a bed bug epidemic here at the moment and I've been travelling a lot) which was quite a relief...but it's still unnerving to have my skin react to something no one has identified. *tries to resist urge to scratch* Worst part is feeling like I'm potentially carrying some weird plague around at a time when I can't help but be out in public.

[chkc.livejournal.com]

Hahaha John is outnumbered! :D

(I hope you feel better soon! Maybe some over-the-counter medications for the itch would help while you wait for the doctor's appointment?)

[lilyfarfalla.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Oh, hilarious.

Less hilarious: scary zombie plague! Calamine in the meantime? I do hope the doctor gets you feeling better!

[paraoptomistic.livejournal.com]

Yay! More in this verse, I love it! Also, my 16 yr old daughter has had a rash since last Friday, with general icky feeling. Took her to the hospital and they told her it was contact dermatitis! However, the Bendedryl and Prednisone don't seem to be doing any good. I bet its the same thing! Yikes! Hope you feel better soon!!!

[paraoptomistic.livejournal.com]

And sorry for all the exclamation points. Too much coffee.

[(Anonymous)]

Ahahah! This was cute and hilarious... thanks!

[ceitie.livejournal.com]

Hee! Oh, PJ and his uncles. Nora would roll her eyes so hard at all of them. :D

[toomuchplor.livejournal.com]

Poor John. He has no chance at all. But Nora would probably side with him, being a 14 year old girl and all.

Thanks, I am finally mostly rid of the rash. The doc thought it was an allergic reaction to the virus (weird) but that didn't stop it from being horrible and spreading for nearly 2 weeks before slowly getting better. Now I'm left with dozens of little scabs from scratching myself to death but otherwise okay. Sigh.

[toomuchplor.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I'm much better now, though honestly the doctor didn't do much other than say, "That's weird! It's probably nothing."

[toomuchplor.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Apparently I had a rash as an allergic reaction to the cold/flu virus itself. Awful. I do not recommend.

[toomuchplor.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *g*

[toomuchplor.livejournal.com]

Nora would be rightfully disgusted by the lot of them, yes. *g* I just had the urge to record one of those classic boyhood moments that PJ would treasure up as he's had so little childhood in his life.