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Steinway Chat, Again

  • Jul. 31st, 2011 at 10:36 AM
toomuchplor: (arthur wtf face)
This is from last January, [personal profile] xenakis just reminded me of its existence and I decided to post it in all its ridiculousness.



me: Ahaha Eames should totes get one of those "your cock in dildo form" kits
And be all, WHAT IT'S ROMANTIC INNIT
And make Arthur help him make a plaster cast of his dick.
So Arthur isn't somehow cheating on Eames with a dildo that's not him.
http://www.makeyourowndildo.com/

Lately: ahahahahahaha
oh my goddddd

me: HAhahaha
 "Here, just put the petroleum jelly on my pubes." 
Arthur: long-suffering stare
 
Lately: *dies*
 
me: http://www.makeyourowndildo.com/directions.php
DYING
Hahahahahaha
 
"We have TWO DAYS TOGETHER before you have to go to Dallas. TWO DAYS, and you are spending how much time making me help you get your cock into a tube filled with this gooey stuff?"
 
"Yeah, keep shouting at me, that's helping me stay focussed."
 
Lately: LOLZ.
 
me: Arthur's mom would probably call at this juncture
 
Lately: AHAHAHAHA

me: And just as Arthur picks up Eames would shout from the other room, "Get back in here, I'm losing my hard-on!"
  
And Arthur would die a thousand deaths

Lately: /o\

me: But then, a month later, Arthur would totally take it out of the drawer and scowl at it and smack it against the lamp on the end table and scowl some more and then sigh and undo his fly.
  
Ahaha, and Arthur would be all, "As long as you don't expect ME to do this too."

And Eames would be all, "Are you mad, imagine if the airport security found your cock in my luggage. Have some decorum, Arthur."
  
And inevitably at some juncture Eames would make Arthur fuck Eames with his own dildo

And be all, "I'm fucking myself! Awesome!"
 
Lately: oh god
oh god
oh god
oh god
oh god
 
me: Hahaha
 
Lately: WHAT HAS BEEN (IMAGINATIVELY) SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN.
 
me: HAHA  
YOU ARE WELCOME MY FRIEND
 
Lately: I HATE YOU.
WHERE IS THE BRAIN BLEACH.
EAMES.
WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS. 
*still laughing, horrified*
 
me: HE WOULD SO DO IT
HE WOULD
 
Lately: I KNOW, I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW.
*cries*

me: iykwim suggests, "You can't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling"
HAHAHAHAHAHA

And Arthur would punch him in the head  
With his precious pianists' hands
because JESUS FUCKING CHRIST EAMES

Lately: LITERAL EPIC LOL.  
have woken up neighbors on all four sides
 
me: Hahahahaha
YOU'RE WELCOME NEIGHBOURS

Lately: it was like I was punched in the abs, man
 
me: "This is really fantastic, Arthur, you are a tremendously lucky young lady to be fucking this cock all the time."

Arthur: "So. Divorced."
 
Lately: ahahahaha
omg eames.
you are RIDIC.
 
me: ARTHUR IS WELL LUCKY TO HAVE HIM RIGHT
AND HIS FANTASTIC COCK. IN DUPLICATE
Hahaha

Once Eames realizes this -- two Eames! No waiting -- he will be all over Arthur to have a threesome with both his cocks.
  
And Arthur will be all, DIVORCED.

Lately: ahahaha I want that to be the conversation at some point  
eames suggests all sorts of sexy things
and arthur just keeps coming back with NO. DIVORCED.
 
me: And Eames is all, WELL I GET CUSTODY OF BOTH MY COCKS IN THE DIVORCE OK
YOU CAN KEEP THE CAT
 
Lately: AHAHAHAHAHAH
OMG DYING.
 
me: THAT IS A BIG CONCESSION BY EAMES YOU KNOW
HE LOVES THAT CAT
BUT HE CAN'T LET ARTHUR KEEP HIS SPARE COCK AROUND AFTER THEY'VE SPLIT UP
 
Lately: WORRIED HE'LL NEVER GET ARTHUR BACK NOW?
 
me: THAT IS RIGHT

He's actually really lucky that Arthur hasn't put it together, that he can literally have sex with Eames' cock WITHOUT all the annoying talking.
Once Arthur works that one out Eames is completely fucked
  
And not in the happy way.

Lately: aw eames
he likes you for more than yr dick, I'm pretty sure

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